Praising effort: the small change that makes a big difference
It’s something most of us say without thinking. “Wow, you’re so clever!” “You’re a natural at maths!” It sounds positive, doesn’t it? A simple way to show pride and encouragement. But this kind of praise can sometimes create pressure rather than confidence.
When children are told they’re “clever”, they start linking success to being naturally good at something rather than to the effort they’ve put in. And when things get hard, that can make them feel anxious or defeated. They might start to wonder, “If I can’t do this, does that mean I’m not clever anymore?” Over time, this can make children less willing to take on challenges. Instead of seeing struggle as a normal part of learning, they begin to fear mistakes.
Why effort praise works
Effort praise (sometimes called process praise) shifts the focus from who your child is to what they do. It highlights actions, strategies and perseverance, rather than talent. For example: “You worked so carefully on that.” “I noticed you kept trying different ways until it made sense.” “You didn’t give up, even when it got tricky.” These small changes in language send a powerful message: learning is something you do, not something you are.
Research backs this up. Psychologist Carol Dweck’s work on growth mindset shows that when children are praised for effort, they are more likely to embrace challenges, learn from mistakes, and enjoy learning for its own sake. They see intelligence as something that grows with practice and persistence.
The hidden pressure behind “you’re so clever”
It’s easy to underestimate how much meaning children attach to simple words. When “being clever” becomes the goal, mistakes start to feel like proof that they aren’t. Some children might start avoiding anything that feels difficult, just to protect that label. Others may become perfectionists, putting enormous pressure on themselves to always get things right. Over time, this can chip away at confidence rather than build it.
Effort praise takes away that pressure. It helps children see that mistakes are part of the process and that progress is something they can influence.
What this looks like at home
You don’t need to overthink it or turn every moment into a lesson. It’s about noticing the process, not the product. Here are a few ways to make the shift: Instead of “You’re so clever”, try “You really thought carefully about how to solve that.” Instead of “You’re amazing at this”, try “You must have practised a lot to get this good.” Instead of “You’re a natural”, try “You made great progress because you stuck with it.” The difference might seem small, but it changes how children view themselves as learners.
What happens when you praise effort
Over time, effort praise builds resilience, confidence, independence and genuine enjoyment of learning. Children begin to realise that intelligence isn’t fixed. The more they practise, the better they get.
A realistic approach
None of this means you should never say “you’re clever” again. It’s perfectly fine to express pride and joy when your child does well. The key is to balance it with praise for the effort behind the achievement. If “you’re so clever” slips out (and it will), just follow it up with something that celebrates the process: “You’re so clever – you worked really hard on that.” It’s the combination that matters. Children still feel recognised for their achievement, but they also hear that their effort is what made it possible.
Final thought
Praising effort takes a little more thought, but it makes a big difference. You’re teaching your child that learning isn’t about being perfect. It’s about persistence, curiosity and the confidence to keep trying even when things get tough. At Bright Sparks Learning Hub, this is something we see every day. When children feel safe to make mistakes and are praised for effort, their confidence grows and their progress follows naturally.
